He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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