the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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