I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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