Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Randomize
