haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
