All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
