i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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