I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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