Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
