she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
