The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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