i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
