Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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