yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
