how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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