Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
