Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize