She announced her abortion via fbk
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
