Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
