oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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