i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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