Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
