it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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