I cut my penus on the lid.
is wine microwaveable?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
