Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
