drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I am available for nakedness
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
