I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
