She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
