your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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