That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
