I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
