Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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