the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
