New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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