Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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