Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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