i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
