i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
