Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
