ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i've created a new STD.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
