Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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