Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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