i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
