You can't special order awesome
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
