i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Screwed.edu
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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