Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
