i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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