You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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