am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
its liver damage thursday
Randomize