She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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