Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
