We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
