Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
