I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
