whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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