She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
