If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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