I want to have your abortion
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
