I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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