Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize