I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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