Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
