Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He? As in you personified your dick?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
