she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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