Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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