I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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